“I need to lose a couple of pounds before I start dating.”
“I need to get my life in order before I can even think about attracting a man.”
“When I’m where I want to be in life then I’ll start dating.”
“If God wants me to be with a man then he’ll send me one.”
“I’m too busy to date.”
Does this sound like some of the conversations that you’ve had with yourself or shared with your girlfriends? Let’s be honest. We’ve all said something of the sort to ourselves once in our lifetime. The truth is you and I know that these are a bunch of excuses.
Let’s be honest with each other for a second. The truth is deep down inside you really want to be in a committed relationship with a man that is supportive, loving, and can be your knight in shining armor. Not really a knight in shining armor but a man who is financially stable and can provide for the family.
Why the excuses? What I have realized is behind every excuse there is a fear.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of not being thin enough.
Fear of not being beautiful enough.
The fear is what is keeping you single.
You have to move past the excuses and the fear in order to attract Mr. Right.
The first step is to recognize your excuses. What excuses have you been sharing with yourself and others as to why you haven’t been dating?
The second step is to become clear on the fear behind your excuse. You may fear dating because you don’t want to be hurt again. You may fear dating because you’re not sure of exactly how to date and aren’t confident meeting men.
The third step is to step out on faith.
Mr. Right Attraction Assignment
1.Write down all of the excuses that you’ve been sharing with yourself and others why you haven’t been dating.
2.Write down all of your fears of dating.
3.Decide to move past your fears and start dating.
Ready to ignite your love life? Click here to schedule your complimentary 30 minute Where’s My Mr. Right session today!
Are you ready to ignite your love life? Join us on April 23 – April 25 where I will be sharing with you how to have a successful love life.
“Men Love Me” – How to Build Successful Relationships With Men
On this call you’re going to learn:
•What men look for in a wife
•The three stages that all men go through
•Why do men cheat
•The keys to loving a man
•And much more!
To register for this free call click here.
Top 10 Ways To Ruin Your First Date
#10 Using Foul Language
Manners are important, and they can also be very attractive. It shows class, education, and good ‘breeding’. However swearing and using vulgar language is disrespectful and rude, which Ms. Sydney, Jemima, experienced with Bachelor No.1. He gave a very vivid description of a sexual rendezvous he had with another woman in a public area and threw in some choice swear words. Be polite and respectful to your date and the people around you at all times.
#9 Being already ‘in love’
Showing enthusiasm about your date is important, but being already ‘in love’ and smitten with them is not. For example, take Jemima’s date with The Little Cowboy. He was so clingy it made her feel like she was going to have a ‘fit’. He then finished the date with “you will be alone your whole life – if you don’t give me a chance” when Jemima told him there was no future for them. Being already ‘won over’ by your date can come across as claustrophobic and a turn-off.
#8 Rushing future plans
It’s the first date, so you don’t want to put pressure on your date or yourself. Talking about your desires for marriage and kids can scare someone off. This is what happened when Mr. Wish I Could Be Attracted to You went on a date with Ms. New York, Rachel, and he said “I just want to get married, and have kids.” Don’t talk about having kids or marriage on the first date – you will ruin the fun!
#7 Over-exaggerating or lying
Portraying yourself to be someone that you are not is a recipe for disaster. This became apparent on Ms. Shanghai, Ginger’s date with Mr. Cyber. When she met him online, he was “29.” In person he was “25” and then “20.” A little embellishment is OK, but over-exaggerating or lying does not build trust. It also shows a lack of self-confidence.
#6 Imposing your personal beliefs and viewpoints
Do not force your own beliefs and viewpoints onto your date as you will end up appearing to be obnoxious and judgmental. Ginger felt that way on her date with Mr. Vegetarian. Being a meat-eater herself, her date could not help himself by chiming in that “vegetarians live longer” when she devoured her meaty dish. Also avoid debatable topics such as politics and religion on a first date.
# 5 Interviewing your date
You want to show an interest in your date but do not go overboard by asking them for their last six places of employment. That’s just what happened to Rachel with Mr. Interviewer. Her date felt like a “sales pitch” rather than a relaxing time to get to know someone new. Working off a checklist is a definite no-no. Instead, ask fun questions to get to know them.
#4 Being Negative
Being cynical and negative about anything should be avoided on all levels. It makes you appear depressed and lifeless. Mr. Real Estate Guy turned Rachel off when he described his mother to be a “horrible, horrible person.” Try to maintain a sense of optimism in all aspects of your life and stay away from complaining.
#3 Excessive drinking
Showing you cannot handle your alcohol is never a good thing. You want to be yourself and not in a drunken coma. Jemima learned this lesson on her date with The Dark Horse. She drank so excessively that she could not recall any of the events that occurred the evening before. She also let the words “I Love You” slip out and successfully frightened off her date. Drink responsibly and know your limit!
#2 Showing no interest in your date
Initiating conversation can be nerve racking on a first date, especially since you want to make a good impression. However, being quiet and appearing unenthusiastic about your date is a definite turn-off. Take Mr. Awkward Silence with Rachel when he didn’t even “blink an eye” when she told him she was a Matchmaker by profession! She felt like she was “pulling teeth”on her date. Ask questions! It shows that you are interested.
#1 Being too forward physically
Nothing is worse than feeling smothered. Don’t rush being physical too soon, even if you are very attracted to the person. You don’t want to scare your date as Jemima felt on her date with Fireman Sam. He wanted to hold hands right away and five minutes into the date “he leaned in” and gave her a “big kiss – with tongue!” Learn to read body language and never force yourself onto them as it shows a lack of self-control and maturity.
This blog posting was submitted by our partners at 3six5dates.com. 4 women in 4 cities take on 365 dates between them. How will they perform in the dating game? Read their adventures and misadventures www.3six5dates.com.
Are you ready to ignite your love life? Join us on April 23 – April 25 where I will be sharing with you how to have a successful love life.
“I Am Confident” – How to Be the Confident and Sexy Woman You Were Call To Be
On this call you’re going to learn:
•What exactly is confidence
•Why some women suffer from low self-esteem and lack confidence
•How to date confidently
•And much more!
To register for this free call click here.
Are you ready to ignite your love life? Join us on April 23 – April 25 where I will be sharing with you how to have a successful love life.
“I Love My Body” – How to Eat to Nurture Your Body
On this call you’re going to learn:
•Why you may be suffering from low energy and how to fix it
•How to release weight in a healthy manner that doesn’t include trying every fad diet
•How to lose weight according to your lifestyle
•The truth about power bars that they don’t want you to know
•And much more!
Click here to register for this free call.
Leave a comment and tell me what you think
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Question of the week:
Erica, why do I seem to attract men who are needy? I want to be with a man who is stable and can take care of his own, however, I keep attracting needy men. What signals am I sending them?
There are three reasons that you may be attracting a needy man:
1.Subconsciously you may feel that you have to take care of a man.
2.You want to save men and help them be who they were called to be.
3.You enjoy helping people so much that you train men to be dependent upon you.
Mr. Right Attraction Assignment
1.Only help those who help themselves.
2.Create a set of boundaries around helping men.
3.Feel good saying no.
4.Take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. Why do these men feel like they can depend on you and what is their situation? What types of behavior are you displaying that would give a man the idea that he can depend on you?
Please leave a comment and share your thoughts!
1.Friends and Family. Friends and family love to play matchmaker. On your journey to attracting Mr. Right I think that it is a great idea to let your friends and family know that you’re looking to date. They probably know someone who is a good fit for you.
2.Single Social Clubs. Joining a singles social club is a great way to connect with other singles to meet and greet. Many single social clubs do activities together that are fun and entertaining.
3.Speed Dating. Speed dating is great because there is are many single men gathered in one place and you have the opportunity to spend between 2-5 minutes speaking with each one of them. This is great if you’re shy because it takes the awkwardness out of approaching a total stranger.
4.Single Cruises. Why not find love at sea? This is a great opportunity for you to vacation and find the love of your life.
5.Meetup.com. Meetup.com is a great resource for meeting single men and connecting with single groups. They have about every type of single group whether it’s speed dating, single wine tasting, and much more. I would highly recommend that you join a singles group that also includes your hobby.
6.Single’s Dinner Party. Do you love to eat and meet new people? There are some Single’s dinner party groups that you can join or you can host your own. If you have a group of friends who are single then host your own dinner party and ask everyone to invite their single friends. (Rule of thumb: make sure that there is an equal amount of men and women.)
Mr. Right Attraction Assignment
1.Make dating a priority. In order to meet Mr. Right you must make yourself available to meet him.
2.Contact your friends and family and let them know that you’re looking to date and if they know of anyone that would be a great fit. Please also inform your family and friends of what type of man you’re looking for. (They may set you up on a blind date with Mr. Wrong.)
3.Pick 2 places from the list above and make it a habit to join, meet, and mingle.
Have fun dating and attracting Mr. Right!
Are you ready to attract Mr. Right but not quite sure how? Click here to schedule your FREE 30 minute “Where’s My Mr. Right?” strategy session today!
Have you ever felt the need to change your looks in order to attract Mr. Right? It seems like everywhere we look we are bombarded daily on how we should change our image. As you watch tv there are commercials telling you how to lose weight fast and if you take this pill you’ll lose 30 lbs in a week. Then there are the make-up commercials that say if you try this product you’ll have beautiful longer lashes or you’ll take 10 years off of your skin. And don’t forget the new bra that will make you look like you went up two cup sizes.
The truth is every man doesn’t want a Barbie.
Please don’t feel that I’m against losing weight, wearing make-up, or wearing a push-up bra. I am all for that. However, I am against these types of enhancements when you’re doing these things only to attract a man, you’re not truly being yourself, and it’s coming from a place of insecurity and feeling the need to compete with other women.
The truth is when you’re in a relationship with your Mr. Right, he’s going to see you without all of the makeup. (Unless you’re going to go bed with it on!) You want him to accept you for who you are.
If you’re working on upgrading your image, do it for you. Make the necessary changes because you want to and not just to get noticed by men.
Be mindful that a man will find a t-shirt and sweatpants sexy. Believe me I’ve been out on one of my laundry days and I had a man checking me out.
Remember to always be yourself and not try to fit in the image of what you see on tv or what you think a man will want. You’re beautiful the way you are and any man will be lucky to have you.
On your journey to attracting Mr. Right you may be struggling with whether you should even date because you’ve been previously hurt. How do you trust the next man after the previous one hurt you? That’s a great question.
To build trust after being hurt:
1.Forgive your previous partner. Another man shouldn’t have to suffer because another man hurt you.
2.Always watch out for the red flags. In your previous relationship, there may have been red flags because you weren’t paying attention.
3.Time heals all wounds. In order to trust the next person it’s going to take time so be patient.
