As a single mother you’re ready to attract Mr. Right however, not quite sure on what steps to take. Listed below are some dating tips to help you along your journey.
1.Be upfront about having a child and communicate that to the man you’re dating. Some men may not want to get into a relationship with a woman who has children. There can be many reasons such as they don’t want to become a stepfather, deal with a child from a previous relationship, or may feel there will be conflict with the child’s father.
2.If your child is of age, communicate that you’re dating and what that will consist of. Many children are very overprotective of their parents and would love for their biological parents to be together however; sometimes this is not the case. In addition, children may feel that another man is going to come in and take the place of their father and will act out towards the man that you’re dating.
3.Only bring your child around your date when the both of you are comfortable and if it is going to turn into a long term relationship. Children seem to get attached to people they like and this may be hard for you and your child if a man you’re dating ends badly. The child may still want to see him and ask you questions about why you guys aren’t dating anymore.
4.Keep your priorities in order and communicate that to your date. As a single mother, your child is more than likely the first person in your life. Be able to communicate that to your date so that they will understand their role in your life.
5.If the father is still in your child’s life he may want to meet the man that you’re dating. Be open to it, only if it is not going to cause any problems. If all else fails…listen to your gut.
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Q. I’ve just started dating this man and I am starting to have strong feelings for him. I want to tell him how I feel about him but I’m not quite sure if it is the right time. We’ve only been dating a couple of months. What should I do?
A. Great question! There are three things that can happen when you express your feelings too soon.
1. You can be perceived as being needy. Because the relationship has just started, he may feel that you don’t really love him but just like him a lot. This can also push him into a corner and make him feel threatened.
2. You can be perceived as being aggressive. If you continuously express your feelings in hopes that he feels the same way, you may be perceived as being aggressive. He may also feel that you may try to control the relationship if it goes any further and want to push your opinions on him.
3. You can be perceived as being authentic and one who openly expresses her feelings. He may be feeling the same way, however, he is afraid to say anything in hopes that he might be rejected.
My suggestion is to tell him how you feel however, be mindful that he may not feel the same way. An example of how you can tell him is:
“John, I feel really good about our relationship and I enjoy spending time with you. I feel that our relationship is headed in the right direction. My feelings for you are growing stronger each day. I just wanted to express how I am feeling towards you and I don’t want you to feel obligated to express your feelings if you’re not comfortable yet.”
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Monday, Feb. 27th, 2012
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Can I be honest with you for a second? I hate rules. I personally feel like rules keep me from being free. I love driving 60 mph regardless of what the speed limit is and I will make an illegal u-turn anywhere unless I see a cop in the area. Sorry for being honest.
The truth is rules were created to establish order and for your protection. On your journey to attracting Mr. Right it is important to create rules around dating, sex, and your relationship with men.
You may have already created some rules around dating, sex, and your relationship with Mr. Right, but are these rules hindering or helping your efforts in attracting Mr. Right?
The more that I work with single women on attracting Mr. Right I have come to realize that the rules that many single women create are based on what they were told as a child, what the media says, or from another outside source.
Each rule that you create about dating, attracting Mr. Right, and sex should adhere to the following guidelines:
1.All rules must be in alignment with your values.
2.Each rule should be for your own protection.
3.You should be comfortable communicating your rules to any man that you’re dating.
Mr. Right Attraction Assignment
1.Create a list of rules that you currently have about dating, sex, and attracting Mr. Right.
2.Be sure that each rule is in alignment with your values.
So you and your girlfriends have just arrived at an event and a handsome man across the room catches your eye. He’s standing alone, your eyes meet his, you give him a smile, but he doesn’t make a move. OMG! You’re thinking to yourself, “This man may be my Mr. Right.” Now you find yourself standing at a crossroad; do you find the courage to approach this man or let this moment pass you by?
If you’ve found yourself in this situation whether you’ve been at an event, party, or just in your local city, here are some tips on how to make the first move on attracting Mr. Right without looking awkward or desperate.
If you’re a shy person and approaching a man is out of your comfort zone create an alter ego. This will give you that boost of confidence you need to be comfortable enough to approach the opposite sex.
Be yourself. A lot of women feel the need to put on a mask and try to be someone that they’re not in hopes of impressing a man. This screams low self-esteem and that you’re not comfortable showing who you really are.
Talk to him as if you’re talking to a friend. Friends first has always been my motto. When you approach a friend your body language is welcoming, you’re comfortable, and you are at ease.
Ask questions that lead to a conversation but refrain from sounding like you’re giving an interview. When you first meet a man and you’re looking to attract Mr. Right, your goal is to figure out whether this is a man that you would like to get to know on a deeper level.
Are you ready to attract Mr. Right but not quite sure how? Click here to schedule your FREE 30 minute Where’s My Mr. Right? strategy session today!
This past week I had a conversation with a beautiful woman and what really disturbed me was that she really wanted to attract Mr. Right but any effort of having a successful love life was being blocked by her lack of confidence and wanting to please everyone. The truth is being a doormat isn’t sexy!
You are the most important person in the world. I know that many women are taught to put everyone before themselves but this way of living will leave you miserable and drained. You were created a confident sexy woman and somehow you may have lost your way here’s how to get back to being yourself:
Be #1 in your life. Every decision that you make whether it includes helping someone or not, you should ask yourself how is this going to affect me?
Fill yourself up. Often times as women we are taught to give, give, and give. However, there comes a time when you have to stop giving so much of yourself if no one is pouring back into you.
Create boundaries, communicate them to others, and stand by them. Every area of your life should have boundaries to prevent you from being someone’s doormat.
Say no and stand by it. A long time ago I used to be a yes type of woman. I would say yes to help my family, friends, and co-workers because I felt I was obligated. Being a yes woman left me drained, unappreciated, and the go-to-person for people to dump their problems on. I now have realized that it is great to say no and I love doing it.
At the end of the day, your opinion is the only one that matters. Many times the reason people turn into someone’s doormat is because they are so focused on what other people think. Who cares what others think? Do what makes you happy!
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Do you believe that you can attract Mr. Right? Do you believe that you are worthy of being with a man who loves you for who you are? The truth is what you believe about Mr. Right is what you attract.
For a very long time I believed that all men cheated. I had a deep rooted belief that if you were a man you were going to cheat on me and because all men cheated, there was no need for me to leave the relationship. I believed that I was suppose to stay in a relationship with him and act as if none thing happened. This was my truth.
I bet you’re wondering where I got this stupid belief system that made me look like an ass! Your belief system is shaped by your childhood, environment, and past experiences. During my childhood, I grew up in an environment where it was the norm for husbands to cheat on their wives and the women to stay. I was exposed to this lifestyle and soon it became my reality.
Your belief system creates your reality. When I started dating, I would always find myself with guys who would cheat and I would stay. I was content with this lifestyle and even adapted the part of cheating on the guys. Then one day I woke up and realized that this was not the lifestyle that I deserved and wanted to live.
The truth is regardless of what your current belief system is, you can change it. Once I changed my belief system the quality of men I attracted into my life changed. I found myself in happier and healthy relationship with men. Then eventually, I attracted Mr. Right.
In order for me to attract Mr. Right I had to change my belief system.
To change your belief system:
1.Become aware of your current belief system about dating, men, and love. Be honest with yourself and write it down.
I believe that men are….
I believe that dating is….
I believe that love is…
2. What childhood experiences or environment created this belief system?
3. Is your current belief system hindering you or helping you attract Mr. Right?
4. Write down the new belief system that you need to have in order to attract Mr. Right.
5. Read it daily and speak it.
Q: Erica, I’m a 30 year old virgin and I’m afraid that it’s going to be hard for me to attract a man who will be committed because of my sexual experience. Is it possible for me to attract a man who will appreciate me because I haven’t had sex like some of the other women? I was also told that men like a woman who has had some sexual experience and I have none. What should I do?
A. Thank you for sending in your question. I also would like to congratulate you for staying pure. If you are a virgin, then you should be proud that you are a virgin. You decided to save yourself for marriage (or that special someone) and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
I know that society and the media portray that being sexually active is the way to go however, the down side of that is that there are a lot of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies occurring.
I know that on your journey to attracting Mr. Right you will be dating men and the topic of sex is going to come up. When it does, be able to communicate that you’re a virgin and your reason for being a virgin. If a man really wants to be with you, then he will be with you regardless of your sexual experience.
Let’s talk about sex! The most pleasurable sexual experience is when a man and women know how to take each other to ecstasy without guessing. The misconception that a lot of people have is that if they have sex with a bunch of partners then they will be experts at sex. Wrong! I knew of a woman who had a lot of sexual partners but the only thing she did was lay on her back. Lying on your back for 15 men to go to work on you does not give you a lot of sexual experience. It just means you had sex with 15 men.
Every man is different sexually. In order to get an understanding of what will please your Mr. Right sexually is communication. Sex must be a topic that is discussed. He has to share with you what pleases him sexually as well as what pleases you sexually. And then based on the conversation you both will decide how you will please each other sexually. And if you don’t know then what fun it will be exploring and learning together.
Good luck on your journey to attracting Mr. Right!
Do you have a question about attracting Mr. Right? Submit your questions below!
Ok, girlfriend…So you’re on your first date with this amazing man, the conversation is stimulating, he’s sexy, and you’re enjoying yourself. It’s almost midnight, you don’t have to go to work in the morning, and you wish that this night would never end. You feel the sexual energy rising between the both of you and you find yourself at a crossroad. Should I have sex with him and it’s just our first date?
To wait or not to wait. Society has created a lot of rules when it comes to sex however; the only rules that matter are yours. If you are making the decision to wait to have sex be aware of the reason behind it. Are you doing it because you don’t want to look promiscuous? Is it because you are waiting for the relationship to build? Do you have a rule on when you’re going to have sex with this man?
If you don’t already have a set of standard or boundaries around sex while dating then it’s time you create some. One of my diamond clients created some standards that included:
• The man she is dating is not allowed to her house after hours or allowed in her bedroom.
• If he is to spend the night he has to sleep on the couch.
• She also decided that she wasn’t having sex until she knew there was a chance of marriage and they have been in a healthy relationship for a while.
Be clear and understand why you’re creating these standards. Your reason for creating your boundaries may be because you were in a previous relationship and want to prevent yourself from being hurt or it may be because of your religious beliefs. Know the reason.
Be fully aware of the consequences of your actions. I have known women who were in the heat of the moment, had sex with the guy, and he never called back. Then the next day they are crying and feeling sorry for themselves. On the other hand there have been women who have had sex on the first date and it led to a healthy fulfilling relationship. Just know that every decision that you make has a consequence behind it. (Consequences are not always bad.)
Your actions should always be in alignment with your values. Remember that you are the most important person in the world. Each decision that you make today will create your future.
Be able to communicate those boundaries to the man you are dating. In any relationship, communication is very important. Keep a mental note of when you are going to bring up the topic of sex while dating and how you are going to communicate that to the man you’re dating.
If you’re not sure of what you want, you’re bound to fall for anything. This is the motto that I currently live by but before I attracted Mr. Right I lived with a different mindset. I just wanted to be in a relationship with a man. I really didn’t care about anything else. I didn’t have any vision of where I wanted my relationship to go. Because I had no vision, my relationships were on a rollercoaster for disaster.
Vision gives you a sense of direction of where you’re headed. Before I got clear on my vision for my relationship with Mr. Right, I hit a lot of bumps in the road. While I was dating, I was simply fumbling through different men really trying to figure out what I wanted.
Vision saves you time and energy. When you know exactly what you want to have in your relationship it’s much easier for you to discern the Mr. Wrong’s from the Mr. Right. When you’re dating it’s easy for you to communicate exactly where you want your relationship to go even in the beginning stages. This will save you the energy of being in a relationship with someone only to find out later that he doesn’t want kids or he doesn’t want to get married.
Vision helps you focus on what’s important. Before I attracted Mr. Right, I wasn’t clear on what was important to me. Because I didn’t know what was important sometimes my feelings were hurt by my previous partner and I made a lot of mistakes that could have been avoided.
What is your vision for your relationship with Mr. Right? Do you envision yourself being married or having a huge family?
Mr. Right Assignment
1.If you were in your ideal relationship with your Mr. Right what would it look like?
2.Write your vision in the present tense as if you’re already living that life.
3.Read your vision aloud in the morning and at night.
