Q: Erica, I’m a 30 year old virgin and I’m afraid that it’s going to be hard for me to attract a man who will be committed because of my sexual experience. Is it possible for me to attract a man who will appreciate me because I haven’t had sex like some of the other women? I was also told that men like a woman who has had some sexual experience and I have none. What should I do?
A. Thank you for sending in your question. I also would like to congratulate you for staying pure. If you are a virgin, then you should be proud that you are a virgin. You decided to save yourself for marriage (or that special someone) and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
I know that society and the media portray that being sexually active is the way to go however, the down side of that is that there are a lot of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies occurring.
I know that on your journey to attracting Mr. Right you will be dating men and the topic of sex is going to come up. When it does, be able to communicate that you’re a virgin and your reason for being a virgin. If a man really wants to be with you, then he will be with you regardless of your sexual experience.
Let’s talk about sex! The most pleasurable sexual experience is when a man and women know how to take each other to ecstasy without guessing. The misconception that a lot of people have is that if they have sex with a bunch of partners then they will be experts at sex. Wrong! I knew of a woman who had a lot of sexual partners but the only thing she did was lay on her back. Lying on your back for 15 men to go to work on you does not give you a lot of sexual experience. It just means you had sex with 15 men.
Every man is different sexually. In order to get an understanding of what will please your Mr. Right sexually is communication. Sex must be a topic that is discussed. He has to share with you what pleases him sexually as well as what pleases you sexually. And then based on the conversation you both will decide how you will please each other sexually. And if you don’t know then what fun it will be exploring and learning together.
Good luck on your journey to attracting Mr. Right!
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