Ok, girlfriend…So you’re on your first date with this amazing man, the conversation is stimulating, he’s sexy, and you’re enjoying yourself. It’s almost midnight, you don’t have to go to work in the morning, and you wish that this night would never end. You feel the sexual energy rising between the both of you and you find yourself at a crossroad. Should I have sex with him and it’s just our first date?
To wait or not to wait. Society has created a lot of rules when it comes to sex however; the only rules that matter are yours. If you are making the decision to wait to have sex be aware of the reason behind it. Are you doing it because you don’t want to look promiscuous? Is it because you are waiting for the relationship to build? Do you have a rule on when you’re going to have sex with this man?
If you don’t already have a set of standard or boundaries around sex while dating then it’s time you create some. One of my diamond clients created some standards that included:
• The man she is dating is not allowed to her house after hours or allowed in her bedroom.
• If he is to spend the night he has to sleep on the couch.
• She also decided that she wasn’t having sex until she knew there was a chance of marriage and they have been in a healthy relationship for a while.
Be clear and understand why you’re creating these standards. Your reason for creating your boundaries may be because you were in a previous relationship and want to prevent yourself from being hurt or it may be because of your religious beliefs. Know the reason.
Be fully aware of the consequences of your actions. I have known women who were in the heat of the moment, had sex with the guy, and he never called back. Then the next day they are crying and feeling sorry for themselves. On the other hand there have been women who have had sex on the first date and it led to a healthy fulfilling relationship. Just know that every decision that you make has a consequence behind it. (Consequences are not always bad.)
Your actions should always be in alignment with your values. Remember that you are the most important person in the world. Each decision that you make today will create your future.
Be able to communicate those boundaries to the man you are dating. In any relationship, communication is very important. Keep a mental note of when you are going to bring up the topic of sex while dating and how you are going to communicate that to the man you’re dating.
Tags: attract mr. right, attracting men, dating, dating advice, dating tips, Erica Johnson, Erica M. Johnson, guiding u2 success, relationship advice, relationship coach, single women
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